I like me & that’s enough

Sometimes they don’t like my hair, or at least it seems that way to me.

It may seem silly, but this was always hard for me. I have frizzy hair and I live in the South. 98% humidity is not my friend.

I can’t always control my frizzy hair and sometimes when I try to fight it, I end up making it worse. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day my hair is issued its very own zip code.

Most days I have a minimum of 5 products in my hair but to no avail. It does what it does. I refuse to let it control my day. There are bigger and better things to think about.

I am more than my hair. I am more than my hair. That’s my mantra anyway.

Somedays I embrace the hair madness and let it do what it will. It took me years to do this.

I’ve been pressured by preachers and teachers alike to change my look, as if I have control. Being judged by others hurts, but it can also teach if you let it. I’ve learned wholeheartedly what I don’t want to be. Judging someone on their appearance closes doors and hearts, and I want neither.

I want to see the truth inside of others and inside myself. That takes an open heart and an open mind.

But you know what I’ve come to learn? If someone is triggered by my hair,  they have something going on inside themselves that has nothing to do with me. There’s obviously some perceived lack or unhealed wound in their soul, otherwise my appearance would have no effect on them. Judgment is an encroachment into God’s territory. I want none of that.

All I can do is pray for them and move on, knowing that I like me, and God likes me too. That is enough.

Sometimes as women we get weird when other women don’t fall in line and join in our unspoken code of following along. Don’t you dare break out of line! Don’t make us look at what we’ve given up to fit in and to be liked. It’s too painful.

You see, when others see you doing something differently it creates friction with the parts of themselves they’ve buried or sacrificed to meet the status quo. I get it.  I’ve done it too.

Everyone wants to be liked, but sometimes it isn’t that easy.

I wonder how many artist, writers, and mountain climbers are buried under the fear of what other people will think.

Let’s work to break out of that. Let’s join together and allow space for other women to live their most authentic self.

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