To say that I'm not one for the spotlight would be an understatement. I'm much more comfortable behind the scenes, doing the work and getting my hands dirty. My comfort zone is the quiet stillness of my work.
Lately that has all started to change. I think it began with the beginning of Girl Be Brave. What I thought was a quiet little hobby has become a life changing force for me and my family.
This sudden change has brought up some issues that I didn't even know I had. One of the biggest issues I've faced is being forced out from behind the scenes.
I've worked with my husband in our family business for twenty something years. That was quite comfortable for me. I'm good at it and it was part of my contribution to our family.
What I didn't know was that I have a deep seated, negative belief that needs to be rooted out. It's holding me back and keeping me out of what I believe to be God's will for my life.
I struggle with the belief that I'm a good support system, a backup player...that my place is second. Always has been, always will be. It's this feeling that I could never be the one out in the front. My internal dialogue was something like this, "nobody wants to hear what you have to say" and "if you share what you think people are going to judge you." That's not productive and it's not true. Nevertheless the struggle is real.
This isn't my husband's fault or my father's fault. It's just me. It's how I've always seen myself. It's a lie that's played on repeat inside my head for as long as I can remember. It's been reinforced through some bad religious teaching and some mean girls along the way.
Now I know that the time has come to push that belief aside and come out of hiding.
I'm sure that some of you have experienced this before, the feeling that you'll always be the next person waiting in line. That somehow you were just born to be in second place.
I'm here to tell you that it's not so. God will lead you where he wants you, but you must open the door and be willing to see yourself in a different light. I think that's the most difficult part...opening your mind to the possibility that you were put here to do remarkable things.
You were not created to constantly be in second place. Today you need to move to the head of the line.
It's your time.
I kept hearing these words in my heart "humility and hiding are not the same thing." And that's the truth. I realize now that I was the only one keeping me in the dark.
Are you doing this in your life? Is there something you know in your heart you should do but hiding behind the scenes is so much more comfortable? Stop it. Come out of the shadows and shine your light.
You were created for a unique purpose. Nobody can do what you do. If you don't shine your light the world will miss out on what God has put in your heart. Don't let that happen. Who you are is too important.
Give yourself permission to come out of hiding. Hiding and humility are not one in the same.