This is what I heard in my heart on a cold, dark night several months ago. I was struggling with a close, personal relationship and crying my heart out. I was painting in my studio and asking some difficult questions. (Painting is very cathartic for me) I felt so alone and so desperate for answers or solutions or whatever was available to fix my brokenness and ease the pain. It was a moment of despair and devastation. Me, alone, overwhelmed with so much grief that I thought I may not survive it.
I prayed, cried, and begged God, the angels and anyone else that would listen. I wish I could tell you that everything shifted and my situation improved.
But standing there in that dark night no answers came.
Have you ever experienced that? The feeling of being completely lost and alone? It is my inclination that most of us have experienced a moment of desperation and disappointment. We all do. None of is making it out of this life in the same pristine condition in which we entered it. Pain, disappointment, even devastation happen to all of us. It is a great equalizer, and it also binds us together. We are sisters in both victory and defeat.
I want you to know that you are not alone.
It may feel like it, but you aren't. All of heaven is on your side, even when all you get is silence. I have quite the tug of war with that silence. If you are anything like me, that silence may cause you to question your faith, and I am here to tell you that it is okay. God is not scared of our questions.
You are human. That means you get to BE human. This includes all of the messy, sticky questions that arise when we face our pain. Why me? Why this? Why now? Trust me, I have asked all of them.
What do we do when our faith is so deeply challenged?
I do not pretend to know the answers, but I do know that we are not alone in our struggle or our devastation. Love is always there. God is always there. Maybe in our pain we cannot see or feel it, but it is true, nonetheless.
So sweet sister, take heart. You are seen and heard. Your pain in not an afterthought. Your plight is not forgotten. You are not alone.
~Girl Be Brave, Cheryl